Why Not Now?
by delena1997
Summary: "Love isn't about being identical to someone in every way; it's a balance, a constant push and pull." One shot continuation of the 3x11 porch scene. "You can't kiss me again, Damon."


Okay, so I was re-watching season 3 of The Vampire Diaries and I watched this scene again and I honestly fell in love with it. Who knows why, maybe just my brain being weird from lack of sleep. But it's probably because it had Damon and Elena in it and it's completely perfect. A continuation from the 3x11 porch scene.

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"Thanks for picking me up." Elena said easily, glancing back at Damon for a moment as she walked up the porch steps.

"Any time." Damon said, sincere in his own way. "You gonna be okay?"

She dragged her gaze away from him and looked to the side, something making her unwilling to tell him the whole truth. "I'll survive," she said meaning to be casual. "Somehow I always do." She shrugged slowly, staring at his face.

He glanced at her lips briefly, wondering how much she should know. "You know. Stefan won this round for us today." Elena looked at him in disgust, her eyes full of hurt and pain and betrayal. "He pushed Klaus to the edge and Klaus _blinked_."

She turned away, not wanting him to face Damon anymore. "Well his method _sucked_." She shot out, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Still, we needed it. Klaus has been calling all the shots and Stefan beat him at his own game!" Damon raised his eyebrows to her, trying to inject some humor into her. "He was the better villain." He said, repeating Stefan's own words and trying to hide a smirk.

"Don't sound so impressed." She breathed out as she walked back to him.

"Well," he said in his usual attitude, he was still Damon at the end of the day and there was nothing that would make her change that. "You can't help but be a little proud."

She sighed and cast her eyes downwards, starting slightly as his warm hand reached out to tilt her chin up gently forcing her chocolate eyes to meet his blue. "Really tell me," he said quietly, "You gonna be okay?" he whispered sincerely to her, stroking her chin and giving her the comfort she needed.

She gazed into his eyes and he moved slowly just a centimeter. She wanted nothing more that to kiss him again but she couldn't. She had seen just how far Stefan had gone since the boy she fell in love with. She knew there was no going back. Only hours after seeing the complete turn around in the car she couldn't kiss his brother. Not because of Stefan, she knew things were over and she knew things would never be the same but because she wasn't ready to admit feeling something for someone else to him yet, everything was blurred; confused. It was all a grey area ready to be filled with colour.

"You can't kiss me again, Damon." She said weakly, something unknown clouding her voice. Regret, relief, desire.

"I know." He replied searching her eyes with his own as his velvet voice washed around her letting her know with those two words just how well he did know her. He didn't go to move his hand away. His thumb was tracing her jaw softly as her eyes refused to look away from him.

She finally grasped his meaning fell apart inside. She couldn't kiss him. If she kissed him it was like she was giving up on Stefan. She had admitted to herself her feelings for the elder Salvatore but by no means was she ready to show it. Not yet.

"I can't," she whispered brokenly, desperate for him to understand. "It's not right."

He nodded slightly downwards, his eyes betraying no change in his emotions. "It's right." He said quietly, his voice oozing silent confidence she wished she felt too. He quirked his mouth up in a regretful half-smile, "It's just not right now."

She sighed in relief and regret and a whole other host of emotions she couldn't even put a name on.

"Goodnight." He said quietly, smiling weakly in a way that wasn't a smile at all.

"Goodnight Damon." She whispered, her mind in turmoil. Her whole heart aching as she watched him walk away from her. "Wait." She said softly, not ready to say goodbye yet.

He stopped on his way to his car and slowly turned to face her, His eyes for once not hiding anything. Everything he was feeling was laid bare for her to see. Every emotion, every thought, every dream was in her hands right now.

She walked towards him quietly. "I don't think we'll ever be right." She started quietly, unable to look into his eyes she looked at his lips instead. "But that doesn't stop me for feeling the way I do."

"And how do you feel?" His soft voice made her look her and once she looked into those eyes she was caught. She knew no matter how long they remained friends and regardless of whether Stefan came back or not she knew what he said had been true. They were right. It was just there was no situation that was right for them.

"I care about you Damon." she began slowly, her mind plotting out what she should say. "But I care about Jeremy. About Caroline and Bonnie. Alaric." She said, gesturing wildly. "It goes deeper than that. And that's the only way I can explain it."

He stepped closer to her again and hesitantly cupped her face with his hands, tauntingly echoing the last time he had done that when he had kissed her; finally, properly and without any consequences, at least not yet. "There's so much I could do. So much I could tell you." He said quietly, searching her face for answers where none lay. "But in the end it's only you who knows how you actually feel."

He stroked her hair gently behind her ear and smiled that same non-smile he had smiled earlier. "I know that I love you." He said as his eyes bored into hers. "And maybe you feel the same or maybe you don't. I just…" he looked at her sadly. "I just need you to know that when I'm not about to die."

"Damon." She said softly, her heart aching for everything she wanted and everything so close yet too far away to just reach out a take it.

He moved closer to her but dropped his hand from the side of her head. They didn't say a word to each other. His blue eyes stared into hers; seemingly knowing everything about her better than she herself knew her own mind.

Every aspect of him, his features and his personality was carved eternally into who she was as a person. When she was down he brought her back up and when he was bad she brought out the good. Love isn't about being identical to someone in every way; it's a balance, a constant push and pull. Almost in a literal sense in their case, she would push his away and he would struggle to bring her closer. He would pull away and she would fight to bring him back to her. No relationship stays the same without work, they grow and they change and people have to be able to move on.

Dislike to friendship, from friendship to loathing. Loathing to a small, heart-stopping glimpse of a world shattering love they could share. So many stages of a relationship had passed by them before they got to where they were now, right where they should be.

A spilt second can change everything. She could lean forward and press her lips to his or whisper sweet things in his ear. She could pour her heart out to him. Or she could stay still and let him walk away from her.

She looked away, knowing he would be able to read her internal battle through her eyes.

"Elena." He said, placing his palms against her cheeks and dragging her gaze meet his.

"You said it was right, just not right now." She whispered, absently leaning just a centimeter closer. There was barely two inches between his lips and hers now.

"It is." He said sincerely, as if he refused to believe anything different.

She swallowed roughly and took a deep breath never breaking eye contact. "Why not now?"

His eyes widened slightly as he dropped his hands from her cheeks and moved away. "You just said you couldn't."

"Every thought that runs through my mind about you is always clouded with Stefan-" she started steadily. If there was one this she was sure about, it was Damon.

"You think about me a lot, huh?" he said waggling his eyebrows, immediately putting her at ease with the familiarity. "What have you been thinking about then, Elena?"

She smacked him and giggled softly, muttering "Ass." under her breath.

He held his hands up smirking and slowly the laughter faded away from his eyes and all they now held was a desperate hope, an immense sadness and above all a fierce love.

"If I let him cloud every thought I have of you how am I supposed to admit how crazy in love with you I am?"

The sky crashed down around his ears as he let out a long shaky breath and he dropped his gaze away from her. "Probably a bit like that." He whispered shell-shocked as she looked into his eyes once more.

She stared at him, heart bursting with something she had barely allowed herself to admit in her own dreams. She raised a shaking hand to his cheek and pressed the other to the back of his neck, pulling him closer with each painfully slow second.

She moved slowly, as did he, each giving the other time to pull away. She kissed him softly, hesitantly and as she did she felt the same sky rocketing feeling that coursed through her that had consumed her last time they had stood here like this. _This_ was how it was meant to feel. There would be no more chasing after a man who no longer existed.

She wrapped her arms more firmly around his neck and pulled his closer to her. The kiss deepened as his hands found their way around her waist pulling her tightly to him so she couldn't let go.

She was sure Damon must have heard footsteps before the door opened but she was glad he didn't stop it. They stayed there, reveling in finally being able to be together in as normal a way as they would ever get.

"Ele- Oh." Ric coughed awkwardly as he surveyed the scene on the doorstep.

Her hands had moved from his neck to begin a trail down his chest and they were grasping the lapels on his leather jacket securely and his strong arms were wrapped around her body, refusing to let go. He raised his eyebrows in an incredulous way and looked away from the door, unable to stop the wide grin splitting across his face.

She sighed softly and leant forward resting her cheek on the soft fabric of his shirt. He was dying to see the look on Ric's face so he moved his arms up so one hand was stroking her hair softly while his other one rested on her back. He moved his head to lean his cheek against her head and had to resist bursting out laughing at his best friend's face. He almost smirked and made a joke to make both of them feel awkward but he stopped himself. He was content to stand here with the girl he loved resting willingly in his arms.

"I'll," Ric spluttered and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. He had just seen his dead girlfriend's niece making out with the vampire brother, and his arguably best friend, of her vampire ex-boyfriend. "I'm just gonna go." He said awkwardly and shut the door, slightly harder than necessary.

"I can't catch a break." He murmured irritated into her hair. He felt her shaking with laughter and pulled back and stared at her face. She kissed him sweetly and detangled herself from his arms. "And where do you think you're going?" he said shocked as he caught her playfully around the waist from behind and pulled her back towards him.

"We," she said mischievously, "Are going inside." He kissed her then, smiling against her lips. She pulled back and pointed grinning to the window. "Don't want to put Ric through more that necessary tonight."

He sighed and kissed her once more, putting everything he had into it before disappearing into her bedroom with an irritated moan escaping her mouth.

She sighed and let herself in, rushing quickly upstairs to save Ric the awkward encounter they would likely have in the morning.

The second the door was shut behind her his lips were on hers pressing her into the wooden frame. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he instinctively lifted her up and back them onto her bed.

She let him block out everything with his hands and his mouth. It was right, it always had been. It just wasn't right to keep both of them waiting for her when she would only ever choose one. Finally, it was the beginning of their forever.

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_This needs smut. Unfortunately, I don't write it since it would most likely _butcher_ every definition of the word. Someone come write smut for me for this story. Haha, much love for you all._

_-E_

_ Oh yeah, and sorry for not updating any other stories. Scottish schools went back last week and it's been kicking my ass. My late night writing had to be put on hold, sadly._

_ Review and I'll love you forever. Like seriously, forever._


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